


I'll be your detonator

by ThePinkFizz



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Drug Withdrawal, Groping, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Kissing, M/M, Night Terrors, Non-Consensual Kissing, Non-Consensual Touching, Protective younger brother, Rape/Non-con Elements, References to Depression, Sibling Incest, Touching, Tour Bus, Tour Bus Sex, Touring, Unwanted erections, Waycest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2016-12-15
Packaged: 2018-09-08 20:14:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8859478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePinkFizz/pseuds/ThePinkFizz
Summary: It's been a tough few months for Gerard, and when the other guys decide to clean up his act for him, things do not go well. With Mikey as the ringleader of this operation, Gerard hits him the hardest.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Welcome to the latest fic! Now, I've done RPF before, but never like this...so yeah...this will be interesting! Never (properly) written about a band before, but I love MCR, and like all things I love, I write about them. I am very proud of Gerard for making the decision to be sober and clean, so I in no way mean any disrespect by writing this story. I'm going to be upfront here; if that bothers you (the drug use, it's really only implied,) or the whole Waycest thing between Mikey and Gerard just isn't your fancy, I'm sorry, please read at your own discretion. For those of you who don't care, enjoy! If you'd like to see more MCR fics, let me know, I'm happy to take prompts :D As always, if you like the story, I really appreciate comments and kudos, they let me know I did a good! Ok, here goes nothing!!

If you’ve ever been on a really long car ride, you know what it feels like. You feel stressed; trapped. It was pretty dark, except for the passing lamplights which pulsed orbs of yellowish light against the windows of the bus. There was a moan coming from the bottom bunk on the right side, its owner sounded uncomfortable, tortured. There was some stirring, a pale arm sliding out from underneath the curtain.

_“Gee? You ok?”_

Ray’s voice was laced with sleep, but was none the less concerned. He didn’t receive a response. The sounds of torment grew louder, longer, more vocalized. Those who weren’t awake jolted conscious with the sounds of Gerard screaming.

Mikey had jumped down from his bunk, groping for his glasses in the dark.

_“Gee? What’s wrong? Gerard?”_

He had pulled away the curtain, his brows drawn together, light eyes scanning his brother. Gerard was on his side, facing the wall.

_“Gee?”_

Mikey placed a hand on his brother’s shoulder, the older jumping at the contact. He rolled over to face the younger, eyes red, bags underneath his eyes, the front of his shirt soaked with sweat.

_“Was it the nightmares again?”_

The older didn’t respond, swinging his legs out of the bunk to sit upright. He ran his hands up his face, leaning his elbows on his knees.

_“Please talk to me…”_

Mikey’s voice was quiet, but pleading. Gerard looked off to the side, his eyes hooded. The other guys were staring at him with concern. Gerard let out an annoyed breath, marching to the bathroom, slamming the door.

Mikey exhaled, making eye contact with Ray before walking to the closed door. He knocked twice with the back of his hand, leaning his ear against the door.

_“Gerard?”_

“Go away!”

The voice from inside spat.

The younger Way chewed down on his lip.

_“What are you doing in there?”_

“Is it a crime to have to piss now and again?!”

There was a loud crash. Mikey grabbed the door handle, rattling it.

_“Open the door Gerard!”_

The door snapped open, the younger Way being met with the piercing glare of the older. Gerard looked at the other guys, shoving his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants.

“What are you all staring at?!”

He stomped over to his bunk, sliding in, slapping the curtain shut.

Mikey breathed in through his nose, walking back to his brother’s bunk. He ran a hand through his tousled black hair.

_“We have to talk about this. The doctor said it would help.”_

Gerard stuck his arm out from underneath the curtain, extending his middle finger to his brother.

_“Fine!”_

Mikey snapped, stepping onto the baseboard of Gerard’s bunk to climb into his own.

_“Be a prick! I couldn’t care less!”_

There was a muttering from Frank’s bunk.

_“Here we go again.”_

“Fuck you.”

Gerard murmured.

_“Shut up and go to sleep!”_

Ray shouted.

There was silence.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was close to two-thirty in the morning when Mikey woke up again to a rustling in the kitchen space. He pulled back his curtain, sticking his head out. He saw Gerard backlit by the track lighting rifling through the cupboards.

“Where is it…”

He muttered.

He snapped the cupboards shut, yanking open drawers, stooping to look into the cupboards on the floor.

“Fuck!”

He swiped a hand across the countertop, sending an array of orange prescription bottles into the wall.

Mikey jumped down from his bunk, rubbing his eyes.

_“What are you looking for? If it’s the peanut butter, Bob ate the last of it.”_

Gerard’s eyes were wide, his lip curdled as he turned back to his brother, slapping his hands against the countertop.

“I’m not looking for peanut butter, you fucking moron!”

The older Way raked his hands through his raven hair, baring his teeth.

“I don’t know where it could have gone…”

Mikey walked over to his bunk, lifting the mattress. He protruded a small baggie filled with white powder.

_“This?”_

The younger Way’s voice was clipped.

“Yes!”

Gerard lunged towards Mikey, making to grab the bag when the younger raised it out of reach. He stomped into the bathroom, dumping the powder into the sink, barring Gerard with his arm.

“No! What are you doing?! I need that!”

_“We’ve talked about this!!”_

Gerard was fuming, his eyes glassy, crazed.

“You don’t get it Michael!”

Mikey took a step back.

“I _need_ it! You don’t know what _this_ is like!”

Mikey kept his mouth shut, watching his brother.

“I can’t _live_ like this!! Not anymore!”

Gerard scraped his hands against his scalp, his eyes darting around.

_“Gee, you need to calm down.”_

Gerard launched towards his brother, grabbing ahold of the other’s shirt, Mikey’s back thudding against the wall.

“Calm down?”

Gerard was taking heaving breaths, his fingers getting closer and closer to the younger’s throat.

_“Gee…don’t..”_

There was a hint of fear in the younger Way’s voice.

Gerard took his hand away, stepping back.

“I-you just don’t understand…”

 _“I understand that you need help. What you need is your meds. Your_ prescription _meds. From a_ doctor, _not a dealer!”_

Gerard made a noise, clenching his fists, raising them over his head.

“I hate you!”

_“Good, hate me!”_

Mikey spit.

_“Because I’m not  just going to stand idly by and watch you throw your life away!!”_

“It’s _MY_ life!”

Gerard screeched.

_“And you are not THROWING it away!”_

Mikey’s breaths had become shallow, his face red from screaming. Surely they had reawakened the other guys, who had chose not to chime in on the current conversation.

“Why the FUCK do you care?!?”

_“Because you’re my brother!”_

Mikey grabbed onto Gerard’s shirt, beating against his chest.

_“We’re flesh and blood! The blood that beats your heart beats my heart! That’s why I care!”_

Slowly, Gerard’s walls began to crumble. He leaned a bit against the younger, dead weight.

“Please,”

He begged, falling onto his knees.

“I need this. Just one little fix. I’ll be good. I promise. Mikey, please.”

_“I can’t let you!”_

Gerard grabbed around the younger’s calf.

“Please!”

_“No! I will not let you do this!”_

“I will _die_ without it!”

The younger dug the heels of his hands into his eyes.

_“You’re just saying that.”_

The older was shaking, his shirt doused with sweat, the hands around his brother’s leg trembling.

“What do you want me to say?!? That I’m sorry? I’m sorry! Please, just let me have some. I’ll do anything!”

_“Just stop. Stop it!”_

Mikey yelled, seemingly frightening the older. Gerard hung his head, his dark bangs falling across his forehead. There was the faint sound of sniffling in the air. Mikey sighed.

_“C’mon, get off the floor.”_

He placed his hands under his brother’s arms, pulling the older off the floor. Gerard refused to look the younger in the eye. Mikey pulled his brother close, tightening his arms around Gerard’s back. The older stood stiffly for a beat before he wrapped his arms tightly around the younger.

“You must hate me…”

He sobbed, his tear-slicked cheek pressed into the inseam of Mikey’s neck.

_“I don’t hate you,”_

The younger cooed, stroking small circles into the older’s back with the tips of his fingers.

_“I could never hate you.”_

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It seemed like he had just laid down when he was roused from sleep by Gerard’s hoarse voice calling his name.

Mikey dropped down, stooping to pull back the curtain.

_“What?”_

His voice was soft, reassuring.

Gerard’s eyes were still red and puffy, his bottom lip quivering.

“I-I”

_“Shh”_

The younger whispered, climbing into the bunk, pulling himself over his brother’s body.

_“It’s alright.”_

His voice is soft, so soft it can barely be heard. He rubbed small circles into his brother’s abdomen, feeling the ridges of muscles underneath his hand.

He felt Gerard let out a shaky breath, his chest rising and falling slowly.

Mikey hesitated for a moment before he bent some, angling his jaw slightly so that it fit perfectly against Gerard’s. He tentatively placed his lips against his brother’s, enveloping the wet, warm skin with his own.

Gerard made a muffled noise against his mouth, pushing at the younger’s chest.

“Mike, no.”

_“You need this,”_

Mikey cooed.

 _“You need to know someone loves you. Not hordes of screaming girls who would carve your name into their arm-someone_ real _. I love you, Gee. I always have.”_

He leaned back down again, Gerard pressing his fingers against Mikey’s lips to stop him. The younger held his weight there, above his brother’s chest.

Gerard shifted his legs, letting Mikey sink his knee between them, allowing the younger to get closer.

Mikey kissed the older again, sliding a hand up onto Gerard’s cheek, letting his fingers wander to tangle in long hair.

Gerard was still, letting the younger draw his bottom lip between his own. Slowly, he reached out a shaky hand and placed it on the younger’s waist.

Mikey pulled some of the fabric of Gerard’s shirt into his fist, pulling the older closer. He had Gerard almost upright, the elder Way arching his back as to not smack his head on the roof of the bunk.

The younger’s lips drifted down, sucking a welt into the older’s neck. Gerard let out a moan, one that was probably louder than he had anticipated. Mikey’s knee was on top of the older, and it bumped against Gerard’s leg, who groaned. At first, Mikey thought it was out of pain. But slowly, he realized that it was out of _pleasure._

Gerard opened his eyes, looking from Mikey’s eyes to the strain rubbing against his brother’s knee.

He opened his mouth to explain but the younger didn’t allow him, crashing their mouths back together. Gerard moaned into his mouth, sucking on the younger’s tongue.

“Mikey…”

Gerard’s voice was breathy. And it only made the growing throb between the younger’s legs intensify. His lips traveled down the older’s structured jawline, feeling Gerard’s thumb graze across his jutting cheekbone.

The younger’s hands traveled down, running over his brother’s chest, hooking over the waist of Gerard’s sweatpants. His thumbs pulled down at the grey fabric, the digits brushing smooth flesh, caressing his brother’s angular hipbones. He felt Gerard’s hand come over his own.

“This…we shouldn’t…”

His voice cracked.

_“Why not?”_

Mikey almost sounded disappointed.

“We’re brothers,”

Gerard croaked.

“It’s wrong…”

Mikey tipped up the older’s chin with two fingers.

_“We’ve never been right.”_

His lips enveloped Gerard’s once more, some of his weight being forced onto the older, who subsequently leaned his back against the wall of the bunk.

Mikey sucked on Gerard’s chapped lower lip, his left hand against the older’s gut, a hot tingling consuming it where his skin met his brother’s.

Gerard reached his hand out to the younger’s shirt.

“Can I?”

He asked tentatively.

Mikey pulled the blue fabric over his head, dropping it onto the mattress, sliding his hands up underneath his brother’s shirt. Gerard’s moans intensified when the younger’s knee brushed against his want.

“Michael…”

The older Way’s voice snagged in his throat, making the younger hum.

Mikey’s hands hooked over the top of Gerard’s sweatpants, pulling the material down the other’s thighs. Gerard hissed out a breath, his head spinning as he felt Mikey’s hands slip under the waist of his boxers.

The younger Way was fully immersed in his task of exemplifying his affections towards the older.

“Michael…Mikey…”                                                                   

The younger hums some more against Gerard’s mouth, his calloused fingers drifting lower and lower until he stroked a fingertip along the older’s curved shaft.

“Mikes!”

The older hisses, his hand digging into the younger’s side.

A smirk twitches at the corners of the younger Way’s mouth as he repeats the action, the older’s hips bucking unconsciously.

Gerard made a series of pleasured noises, arching into the younger’s touch, resting his forehead against Mikey’s.

“The others will hear…”

The younger cocked his head, heterochromia eyes staring into the older Way’s.

_“Then we’ll be quiet…”_

Mikey slid the curtain shut, almost complete darkness swallowing up the pair, save for a few periodic road-side lights.

The younger Way stooped, pressing his lips just below Gerard’s ear, then let them travel down his neck.

_“You ok, Gee? You’re not saying anything.”_

“It’s just…I don’t know…something doesn’t feel right…”

_“Who gets to tell us what’s wrong and what’s right? I love you Gee. That’s all that matters.”_

“I love you too.”

Mikey brushed some black hair off Gerard’s forehead, kissing the warm skin.

The older Way cautiously reached out both of his hands, resting them on Mikey’s hips, rubbing the projecting hipbones with the palms of his hands. He slid them inward slightly, brushing against the flat planes of skin.

_“Can I take these off?”_

The younger Way whispered, his hand sweeping over the cotton fabric of Gerard’s boxers.

The older licked his lips, giving a hesitant nod.

_“Only if you want me to.”_

“I want you to.”

Mikey drew down the fabric so that it slid down Gerard’s thighs, allowing the older’s dick to spring free, the organ curling up onto his stomach, drops of precum wetting the skin.

The younger Way’s eyes rested there for a moment before Gerard cleared his throat, drawing Mikey’s eyes to his own light ones. His cheeks were tinged a deep red and he adverted his gaze from the younger’s.

_“Gee, don’t be like that…I-”_

He tried to make up for it by pressing his lips back against Gerard’s, pouring affection into the kiss. The younger Way’s stomach brushed against the older’s want, eliciting a moan.

The older Way ran his hands up Mikey’s sides, wrapping them around his back, his fingers dipping into the divot of his spine.

_“Mhmm…Gee…”_

Gerard leaned up some, closing his lips around the cartilage of the younger’s right earlobe, his fingers hooking over the waist of Mikey’s shorts.

“It’s better when you stay…”

Gerard whispered, pushing the light fabric down around the younger Way’s knees, the other’s tormented erection bouncing out.

The older Way looped an arm around the back of Mikey’s neck, pulling him down against his chest, kissing him with a newfound hunger.

“I want to forget...”

He whispered thickly.

“Make me forget. Help me Mikes.”

The younger Way shivered at the deep octave of his brother’s voice. Gerard grabbed his brother’s wrist, pressing the younger’s palm tightly against his pulsing cock, looking for some way to alleviate the throbbing ache.

It was an odd sensation for the younger, different than when he performed the action on his own body. Gerard was thicker than he was, the younger’s hand covering more girth.

The older Way threw his head back, disheveling unwashed hair.

“Fuck, Mikes…”

He had hissed the sentence through his teeth, holding in a moan. Mikey felt the coil of want in the pit of his gut get tighter, the head of his cock weeping openly. The younger Way shifted his body weight, throwing his thighs over Gerard’s hips. He reached behind him to disentangle his ankles from his boxers. He pushed Gerard’s pants off the rest of the way, balling the clothing up in the corner of the bunk.

_“Do you want me to-”_

“Yes…”

The older Way whispered, nodding his head against his pillow. His light russet eyes were trained on the younger as the other Way drew a few digits into his mouth, coating them thickly with spit. He felt Gerard’s hand clench around his hip as he pushed two fingers into the muscle, the callouses on his fingers intensifying the sensation. The younger Way pulled at and stretched the older’s walls for several minutes before Gerard whimpered.

_“Take my hand,”_

The younger Way encouraged. Gerard opened his eyes, grasping onto the younger’s hand as Mikey pushed just the head of his cock inside the muscle. Gerard fell back against the mattress, clenching the younger’s hand fiercely.

“Oh, God…”

Gerard pulled Mikey’s hand to his chest, taking gasping breaths. It was like a bubble of air was caught in his chest and the sound that came with it erupted in the small space.

_“Gee? You alright man?”_

It was Ray again.

“I’m…hngh…I’m fine!”

He called, Mikey’s movements coming to a halt. Both Ways were covered in sweat, hair clinging to their foreheads and cheeks, their chests heaving almost in unison.

“Don’t stop,”

Gerard mewled, clinging to the younger. Mikey repositioned his slender legs on either side of Gerard’s torso, finding a new angle that made the older Way scream, beating his hand against the inside wall of the bunk.

“Fuck!”

_“Seriously, what is going on man? Some of us are trying to sleep!”_

Frank sounded aggravated.

“I just…”

Gerard’s breath caught in his throat as Mikey hit his g-spot again.

“I wacked my head…that’s all…”

_“Well whack your head a little quieter!”_

Mikey covered Gerard’s mouth as he thrust forward again to contain the older Way’s moans in his mouth. The older Way grabbed a fistful of Mikey’s dark hair, drawing the younger closer, clamoring for some skin.

“Mikes, I-I can’t…”

Gerard whispered, his hand tightening within Mikey’s.

The younger Way squeezed back, his eyes locking with Gerard’s for a moment before he snapped his hips one final time before he had Gerard coming all over his stomach and chest in a wild, howling screech.

The older Way bit down on his lip so hard that it began to bleed in an attempt to squelch his screams.

Mikey clenched Gerard’s hand as he came, grunting in the back of his throat. He took heaving breaths, trying his best to not drop down on top of his brother, his arms shaking violently. He pressed his forehead down against Gerard’s.

_“God Gee…I love you so fucking much.”_

Gerard wrapped his arm tightly around his brother’s back, kissing his forehead.

Mikey made to get up when Gerard grasped his forearm.

_“I was gonna go get a towel or something- “_

“Just stay a little longer…please…”

_“Yeah, ‘course.”_

Mikey repositioned his body, stretching his slender legs out alongside Gerard. He cozied up underneath the older’s arm, laying his head on Gerard’s heaving chest.

“Thank you.”

The older Way whispered.

Mikey looked up, his head under Gerard’s chin.

_“For what?”_

“For bringing me back from the edge.”

Mikey smiled, kissing Gerard’s jawline.

_“Isn’t that what family is for?”_

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
